Unique valuable insights into positive, assertive parenting, particularly the pre-teen and teen years, from a Mum who knows.
Support your children in becoming capable and confident with healthy self esteem.
Teens learn through their experiences of the world around them.
Children need parents/guardians to model good coping and relationship skills.
Understanding the needs of teens and the role of the ‘good enough parent’ is not to be a perfect parent and meet the child's every need, but to provide enough support and nurturing to the best of the parent/guardian's ability.
The Adult is protective, yet increasingly supportive, letting the teen go to make their own experiences. Not too near, not too far.
Building healthy self-esteem requires parents/guardians to provide the teen with a safe environment and predictable routine where they receive lots of praise and encouragement. Teens in particular need to know that they matter and their parents care about their well being.
Positive attention is an essential ingredient to raising confident, happy children.
Children need attention to live.
A child that receives regular positive attention learns that they are a valuable human being and learns ‘ I am worthwhile, I am an interesting person’.
Reminder - Teens self-esteem grows when they hear good things about themselves and other important people in their lives
Build solid family relationships – how to stay connected
Say Sorry when you get it wrong, say “I apologise, I made a mistake”.
Use this as an opportunity to model good behaviour. Children need to know that you can get it wrong and that it is all right to make a mistake, admit it and move on.
The '20 – minutes Tool' - Spending 20 minutes a day listening and talking with the teens about what the they want to talk about. The most important aspect is that the parent remains in present time with the Child.
Understand the 4 core human emotions:
Anger is our instinct for freedom. Fear helps us avoid danger. Sadness helps us to ‘let go’ and move on. Joy is what we experience when we can express our emotions freely. Understand your teen's relationship with anger.
Many experience depression at some time in their lives. It is a reaction to the external factors such as grief, poverty, unemployment and separation from community or family.
Depression is caused by chemical imbalance in the brain. It is treated wonderfully by homeopathy or herbs and acupuncture and massage.
Enhance family communications – managing conflict
For many parents today their family type does not match that which is perceived to be the norm.
Parents – whether they are parent, separated or divorced – which is often difficult territory, need to deal with explaining their family situation to their children in a way that fosters respect for the other parent and allows children to feel good about their unique family situation. In other words, being able to talk to a child positively about their family situation allows trust to develop between a parent/guardian and child. The approach that is successful is the teen's right to know and allow parents/guardians to participate in the process at the level where everyone feels able. The goal is to allow parent/guardians to ‘open their thinking around the issues and allow the possibility of change’ rather than the parent/guardian take the high moral ground on how things should be done.
To reach this goal we will have to challenge the historical gender stereotypes as the mother being naturally more able to care for a child and that caring and taking responsibility for children is not a ‘macho’ thing for men to do.
Challenging these sterotypes and encouraging parents to change their thinking around these issues and beliefs greatly benefits teenagers. This approach and action will model new ways for being a parent/guardian to their children. Children are like sponges.
Most of the child's learning is done not from books or experts, but from what they hear and see. For many years you are the expert to your children. What you say or do has a powerful impact on your teen's behaviour.
Understanding the needs of teenagers/parents – what’s it all about ?
It is good to take the time to understand how our minds and the teenager's mind is developing and working. The left brain thinks logical, rational, facts, knowledge, serious, linear, sequential, 2-d thinking, book-learning, monochromic time, creativity, implementation, structure ‘Whats the bottom line?’
The Right brain thinks illogical, irrational, fantasy, intuition, playful, holistic, 3d thinking, common sense, polychromic time, creativity, spontaneous, flexibility, 'have a heart'
Levels of learning, learning about things, learning to do things, learning to become yourself, learning to achieve things with others
Effective discipline – negotiating rules and boundaries
Some teens mis-behave sometimes and some teens mis-behave a lot. When thinking about the reason why children mis-behave, they may not be mis-behaving at all. It may be an expression of excess energy or enthusiasm rather than any desire to mis-behave.
Author Steve Bidduph says "The 5 common reasons why children mis–behave are Boredom, Power, Contest, Revenge Seeking, Showing Feelings of Inadequacy.
Bad behavior is actually the result of healthy forces going astray.
Children play up for one reason or another because they have unmet needs. Identifying those needs and finding positive ways to help teens meet them is a parents/guardians role.
Children need to learn about their limits and the responsibility of being a social being. Mis-behaviour may be the expression of the need for a limit or boundary to be set.
When there are no limits, teens feel unbalanced and unsafe.
Assertive Parenting skills
Be calm yet confident where the tone of the voice says ‘I mean business and I am as calm as a cucumber’. Assertive Parenting helps the teen to know where they stand and everyone gets to have a life that is not full of constant nagging and scolding. Assertiveness is a skill set that can be learned and given patience and persistence, can transform the relationship between parents and teenagers.
There is a belief floating about that parents/guardians that seek out knowledge for parenting courses is an admission of failure as a parent /guardian. There is another belief floating about which demands parents to be perfect
This is a great mis-understanding. It is an act of maturity to attend a number of parenting courses over the course of the children’s lives, because different knowledge and skill sets are required at different child development stages so that the relationship between the adult and child can blossom and grow in balance.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Five Key Points to Achieving Optimum Personal Health
Some very practical advice for staying on top today that won't cost you anything.
1. What is easiest and most important thing we can do to improve our health?
Learn the science of yoga breathing.
Pranayama is the breathing exercises practiced in Yoga. When we find ourselves in a stressful situation one of the best techniques to calm and centre ourselves is to take a deep breath. When in a chaotic and stressful situation, if we have not been trained, the automatic response is to hold our breath. When we do this it completely tenses up our whole body and we become rigid. We go into a freeze not flight or breakdown not breakthrough solution frame of mind. The Importance of Breathing is it is the only means to supply our body and its various organs with oxygen. There are 4 different stages of breathing, high breathing, low breathing, middle breathing and complete breathing. Breathing exercises improve your blood pressure and heart function.
2. Is it important to detox?
Learn to love your liver
More than ever, now with the stressful chaotic daily lives we require to know how our liver functions and why it is considered the engine centre of our bodies. With today’s chemical and toxic environment and so much processed food it is important to keep our liver detoxed. 3 detoxes a year will keep our liver in good order. Fix the liver and good health will always follow. Do a liver detox every 3-4 months.
3. Is there any direct health benefit to soaking in a hot bath?
Take Epsom salts baths as much a possible.
The name Epsom comes from mineral waters found in the area in England called Epsom. Epsom salts has dozens of health benefits.
A daily hectic and chaotic stress full life can drain the magnesium from our bodies, Magnesium is necessary for the body to bind adequate amounts of serotonin, a mood –elevating chemical within the brain that can create feelings of calm and relaxation. The magnesium sulfate of Epsom Salts acts as a muscle relaxant, and by easing muscle pain it helps the body to eliminate harmful substances. Epsom Salts neutralizes any body odours and softens the skin. A 20 minute soak in an Epsom salt bath before bed is an amazing way to guarantee a wonderful night’s sleep.
4. What advice would you give for a healthy mind?
Learn to weed the garden of your mind.
For the first time in history it is now being accepted that we are what we believe and we are not what our genes and family health was. It is now not accepted that just because your mother or father had a heart health problem then you are at higher risk to have the same. Our minds have full ability now through visualization techniques and balancing the 3 frequencies within our brains, to change each organ and function of our bodies to better and more. Just as we have talked about how our breathing can balance all our body the mind has the same power. In India meditation is taught from an early age. In the culture of most Asian societies it is believed that once you can calm the mind you can calm the rest of the body. There are lots of meditative techniques now available on the internet. We have 50,000 thoughts a day and each one of them manifest. Then they come back around to us like an echo or boomerang. If you take what we see in front of us as a projector of our minds then we have to take responsibility to keep our minds calm and clear, just like our liver.
5. What is the picture of optimum health we should strive for?
Learn to love yourself right now.
In today’s society when you ask someone do they love themselves. They usually can’t answer you. It has been proven through scientific research if a child or person does not love themselves enough first they will fill isolated and alone. It is most important to love our bodies, mind as we are today. We have become an over-entertained culture. There has been for many years now lots of media advertisement and so much information on how we should look, what we should wear, a lot of people of now are in a sea of confusion of what they really want and who they really are and what they really like.
So it is time to stop, take a deep breath, take an Epsom salt bath, quiet the mind and love yourself for who you are today.
1. What is easiest and most important thing we can do to improve our health?
Learn the science of yoga breathing.
Pranayama is the breathing exercises practiced in Yoga. When we find ourselves in a stressful situation one of the best techniques to calm and centre ourselves is to take a deep breath. When in a chaotic and stressful situation, if we have not been trained, the automatic response is to hold our breath. When we do this it completely tenses up our whole body and we become rigid. We go into a freeze not flight or breakdown not breakthrough solution frame of mind. The Importance of Breathing is it is the only means to supply our body and its various organs with oxygen. There are 4 different stages of breathing, high breathing, low breathing, middle breathing and complete breathing. Breathing exercises improve your blood pressure and heart function.
2. Is it important to detox?
Learn to love your liver
More than ever, now with the stressful chaotic daily lives we require to know how our liver functions and why it is considered the engine centre of our bodies. With today’s chemical and toxic environment and so much processed food it is important to keep our liver detoxed. 3 detoxes a year will keep our liver in good order. Fix the liver and good health will always follow. Do a liver detox every 3-4 months.
3. Is there any direct health benefit to soaking in a hot bath?
Take Epsom salts baths as much a possible.
The name Epsom comes from mineral waters found in the area in England called Epsom. Epsom salts has dozens of health benefits.
A daily hectic and chaotic stress full life can drain the magnesium from our bodies, Magnesium is necessary for the body to bind adequate amounts of serotonin, a mood –elevating chemical within the brain that can create feelings of calm and relaxation. The magnesium sulfate of Epsom Salts acts as a muscle relaxant, and by easing muscle pain it helps the body to eliminate harmful substances. Epsom Salts neutralizes any body odours and softens the skin. A 20 minute soak in an Epsom salt bath before bed is an amazing way to guarantee a wonderful night’s sleep.
4. What advice would you give for a healthy mind?
Learn to weed the garden of your mind.
For the first time in history it is now being accepted that we are what we believe and we are not what our genes and family health was. It is now not accepted that just because your mother or father had a heart health problem then you are at higher risk to have the same. Our minds have full ability now through visualization techniques and balancing the 3 frequencies within our brains, to change each organ and function of our bodies to better and more. Just as we have talked about how our breathing can balance all our body the mind has the same power. In India meditation is taught from an early age. In the culture of most Asian societies it is believed that once you can calm the mind you can calm the rest of the body. There are lots of meditative techniques now available on the internet. We have 50,000 thoughts a day and each one of them manifest. Then they come back around to us like an echo or boomerang. If you take what we see in front of us as a projector of our minds then we have to take responsibility to keep our minds calm and clear, just like our liver.
5. What is the picture of optimum health we should strive for?
Learn to love yourself right now.
In today’s society when you ask someone do they love themselves. They usually can’t answer you. It has been proven through scientific research if a child or person does not love themselves enough first they will fill isolated and alone. It is most important to love our bodies, mind as we are today. We have become an over-entertained culture. There has been for many years now lots of media advertisement and so much information on how we should look, what we should wear, a lot of people of now are in a sea of confusion of what they really want and who they really are and what they really like.
So it is time to stop, take a deep breath, take an Epsom salt bath, quiet the mind and love yourself for who you are today.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Current Work Life Transformation of Ireland
Small business will play a key role in this local and global transformation. The current so-called recession is not a recession, it is a slowing down to allow for a transformation to happen.
In the 1960’s and 1970’s there was an era of social transformation, as diverse new groups of members of society - women, minorities, youth, immigrants and the disabled – challenged government, business and other traditional institutions. The period in time brought social disruption which was then followed by a period of technological disruption in the 1980’s and 1990’s. During this time, personal computers entered the market place and the internet laid the foundation for the growth of entrepreneurial activity.
With growing digital infrastructure it reduced the costs of starting and running a business and opened new markets and industries to small business.
Locally and globally the corporate world is experiencing the completion stage of what was started in the 1960’s.
Immigrant entrepreneurs frequently have contacts in their native countries as well as Ireland. This provides them with the opportunity to create businesses that link markets. The internet and other connective technologies enable these businesses to be both global and local, and to source materials and goods in one market to sell in another.
In his book, The World is Flat, Thomas Fredman claims, “We’ve entered the third phase in globalization”, which he calls “Globalisation 3.0”
He describes Globalisation 3.0 as “the newfound power of individuals to collaborate and compete globally. With cross-border skills and contacts, immigrants with small businesses are leveraging the internet and connective technologies to exploit global trade opportunities. This is creating a new wave of small business globalization, and creating broader and deeper economic links across the globe.”
Since the 1990’s, the foreign born share of the Irish population has grown substantially, resulting in a strong increase in immigrant –formed businesses.
CSO statistics show that already, foreign owned enterprises, representing just 11% of the total number of enterprises in Ireland, contribute to nearly half - 43% - of the total turnover for Ireland of all enterprises.
How this segment of Irish society performs over the next decade will depend on Irish Immigration policy. However, regardless of the changes in immigration policy, small business formation by immigrants will continue to grow. Connective technologies will continue to grow in strength and links between Ireland and other economies, cross – border trade will increase and growing numbers of immigrant entrepreneurs will continue to drive this new wave of globalization.
While scientific and technological innovation is critical to the economy, it is entrepreneurship that turns innovation into economic growth and jobs.
Women start businesses for many of the same reasons men do – career independence, personal fulfillment, professional challenge, and work-life balance. Women coming from the corporate world see entrepreneurship as a way of steering around the traditional “glass ceiling” they may have faced in previous jobs. With the scheduling flexibility the personal and small businesses offer, women can meet both family and work demands in a more balanced way.
What’s holding women back? Exclusion from informal networks, misconceptions about women’s roles and abilities, and commitment to personal or family responsibilities is key impediments to top earner positions. While women are making progress, catalyst research forecasts another 40 years before women have equal access to key positions in large corporations. So women are choosing the entrepreneurship model to progress forward with their lives.
Entrepreneurship offers an alternative to women with corporate experience. It is reported that mid-career women are the group most likely to succeed in starting and running a business. Women have sharp business acumen and solid managerial experience, but they feel stunted in their corporate career paths. Women are keen to create and leverage mentor – peer networks they develop themselves. Women look for a way to invest in professional growth without letting go of their family ties. Women are professional ambition and the desire for work – life flexibility are the key drivers for Women entrepreneurs.
What is required for sustainability through these interesting times of transformation is flexibility with new business design process and strategy, lots of innovation and plenty of new health and techonolgy, both in the work and home life environments.
This is where private training companies will recognize the need and demand for mid –career entrepreneurial training models. Using presentations, practical workshops, small –group sessions, and online training, a variety of small business training models and formulas prepares middle –aged people to form small businesses. These mid –stream career training models and formulas focus on the skills it takes to be a small business person. They will enhance the transition to entrepreneurial roles. They will help provide these budding entrepreneurs with the skills they need to succeed in small businesses.
We should seek to develop and encourage entrepreneurial thinking to calculate risk-taking, problem–solving and new ways of leading others to success. Business planning, niche marketing, strategic decision-making, risk management for a small business, presentation and networking skills, relevant technology applications and method for accessing capital are the key focuses for entrepreneurship.
The Digital Natives – Will emerge as the most entrepreneurial generation ever.
They are the first Generation that have grown up with digital technologies rather than having to adapt to them. The Digital natives cherish autonomy and lean towards libertarian ideals. Above all they want to be treated fairly and with respect. They have a unique fresh approach to society, information and workplace. These youth have tremendous self-confidence, but their confidence in the adult world is weak. They are distrustful of governments.
Ireland must become more flexible to this change and must not continue business as usual, they must now start to accept business as unusually as possible.
I am an award winning entrepreneur, mentor and coach. I am an incredible mother, sister, friend and personal partner. I am a true entrepreneur and pioneer in my creative thinking formulas and models. I live it, walk it, talk it.
I inspire others to rise above their fears and limiting beliefs to achieve a fulfilling life.
As a coach, I have the current life experience of achieving my goals with ease and effortless with incredible work life balance!
Copyright Bernice Maria Paolozzi 2009
info@bernicepaolozzi.eu
In the 1960’s and 1970’s there was an era of social transformation, as diverse new groups of members of society - women, minorities, youth, immigrants and the disabled – challenged government, business and other traditional institutions. The period in time brought social disruption which was then followed by a period of technological disruption in the 1980’s and 1990’s. During this time, personal computers entered the market place and the internet laid the foundation for the growth of entrepreneurial activity.
With growing digital infrastructure it reduced the costs of starting and running a business and opened new markets and industries to small business.
Locally and globally the corporate world is experiencing the completion stage of what was started in the 1960’s.
Immigrant entrepreneurs frequently have contacts in their native countries as well as Ireland. This provides them with the opportunity to create businesses that link markets. The internet and other connective technologies enable these businesses to be both global and local, and to source materials and goods in one market to sell in another.
In his book, The World is Flat, Thomas Fredman claims, “We’ve entered the third phase in globalization”, which he calls “Globalisation 3.0”
He describes Globalisation 3.0 as “the newfound power of individuals to collaborate and compete globally. With cross-border skills and contacts, immigrants with small businesses are leveraging the internet and connective technologies to exploit global trade opportunities. This is creating a new wave of small business globalization, and creating broader and deeper economic links across the globe.”
Since the 1990’s, the foreign born share of the Irish population has grown substantially, resulting in a strong increase in immigrant –formed businesses.
CSO statistics show that already, foreign owned enterprises, representing just 11% of the total number of enterprises in Ireland, contribute to nearly half - 43% - of the total turnover for Ireland of all enterprises.
How this segment of Irish society performs over the next decade will depend on Irish Immigration policy. However, regardless of the changes in immigration policy, small business formation by immigrants will continue to grow. Connective technologies will continue to grow in strength and links between Ireland and other economies, cross – border trade will increase and growing numbers of immigrant entrepreneurs will continue to drive this new wave of globalization.
While scientific and technological innovation is critical to the economy, it is entrepreneurship that turns innovation into economic growth and jobs.
Women start businesses for many of the same reasons men do – career independence, personal fulfillment, professional challenge, and work-life balance. Women coming from the corporate world see entrepreneurship as a way of steering around the traditional “glass ceiling” they may have faced in previous jobs. With the scheduling flexibility the personal and small businesses offer, women can meet both family and work demands in a more balanced way.
What’s holding women back? Exclusion from informal networks, misconceptions about women’s roles and abilities, and commitment to personal or family responsibilities is key impediments to top earner positions. While women are making progress, catalyst research forecasts another 40 years before women have equal access to key positions in large corporations. So women are choosing the entrepreneurship model to progress forward with their lives.
Entrepreneurship offers an alternative to women with corporate experience. It is reported that mid-career women are the group most likely to succeed in starting and running a business. Women have sharp business acumen and solid managerial experience, but they feel stunted in their corporate career paths. Women are keen to create and leverage mentor – peer networks they develop themselves. Women look for a way to invest in professional growth without letting go of their family ties. Women are professional ambition and the desire for work – life flexibility are the key drivers for Women entrepreneurs.
What is required for sustainability through these interesting times of transformation is flexibility with new business design process and strategy, lots of innovation and plenty of new health and techonolgy, both in the work and home life environments.
This is where private training companies will recognize the need and demand for mid –career entrepreneurial training models. Using presentations, practical workshops, small –group sessions, and online training, a variety of small business training models and formulas prepares middle –aged people to form small businesses. These mid –stream career training models and formulas focus on the skills it takes to be a small business person. They will enhance the transition to entrepreneurial roles. They will help provide these budding entrepreneurs with the skills they need to succeed in small businesses.
We should seek to develop and encourage entrepreneurial thinking to calculate risk-taking, problem–solving and new ways of leading others to success. Business planning, niche marketing, strategic decision-making, risk management for a small business, presentation and networking skills, relevant technology applications and method for accessing capital are the key focuses for entrepreneurship.
The Digital Natives – Will emerge as the most entrepreneurial generation ever.
They are the first Generation that have grown up with digital technologies rather than having to adapt to them. The Digital natives cherish autonomy and lean towards libertarian ideals. Above all they want to be treated fairly and with respect. They have a unique fresh approach to society, information and workplace. These youth have tremendous self-confidence, but their confidence in the adult world is weak. They are distrustful of governments.
Ireland must become more flexible to this change and must not continue business as usual, they must now start to accept business as unusually as possible.
I am an award winning entrepreneur, mentor and coach. I am an incredible mother, sister, friend and personal partner. I am a true entrepreneur and pioneer in my creative thinking formulas and models. I live it, walk it, talk it.
I inspire others to rise above their fears and limiting beliefs to achieve a fulfilling life.
As a coach, I have the current life experience of achieving my goals with ease and effortless with incredible work life balance!
Copyright Bernice Maria Paolozzi 2009
info@bernicepaolozzi.eu
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Welcome to iPositive Life
Hi and welcome to iPositive Life- A site which aims to provide all the tools and techniques you require to live an iPositive Life.I was inspired to set up the iPositive Life blog which will be updated regularly with hot tips on how to maximise your life.
What is iPositive?
Being an iPostive person, I enjoy being a Citizen of the World.
An iPositive person has a focused solution driven lifestyle.
An iPositive person has a focused solution driven lifestyle.
They enjoy taking responsibility for their actions.
They enjoy friendly technology and social networking.
They enjoy friendly technology and social networking.
They enjoy sharing ideas and experiences to support and enhance others' daily lives.
They have an incredible sense of humour.
They have an incredible sense of humour.
I encourage you to ask questions on any subject which I will gladly answer.
I am an internationally acclaimed advisor in Smart Thinking.
I combine my extensive knowledge of enterprise, innovation, social enterprise, human resources, health, youth and experience in developing green, sustainable projects in the East and West to effectively implement Smarter strategies for sustainable future on personal and professional levels.
I have a unique ability for very creatively and clearly identifying the strategic solutions to many developmental challenges individuals and enterprises often fail to recognize.
I will be posting blogs on all iPositive matters such as health, youth, parenting, women, men, relationships, travel, culture and much more, so watch this blog and stay iPositive!!
Let's Get Moving Together!!!
Bernice Maria Paolozzi
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